One of the smaller joys of a working life is the ritual of ripping away the desk calendar each morning. Bill Bryson would probably describe this as ‘low level ecstasy’ – taking great joy in something very small and cheap, like a Digestive biscuit. And what is wrong with a cheap and harmless laugh if it gets us through the day?
This year I have been ripping away the pages of Living Language’s French Phrases. These were sold as being useful in everyday life, but you be the judge. Examples have included;
You don’t have a bath towel? If need be, you can use mine.
After the death of the prince, he found himself heir to a considerable fortune.
So, you don’t agree that this director is quite simply brilliant?
What a pity to peel these vegetables; there are so many nutrients in the skin!
And finally: Be careful where you walk, there is a lot of cow dung in this field.
I also had a 2019 diary, which was supposed to provide a motivational thought for the day. It has provided a daily smile and here are my favourites so far.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is probably not for you.
The fact that there’s a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated numbers.
My new thesaurus is useless. Not only that, it’s also useless.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world!
Some people remind me of software updates. Whenever I see them, I think, ‘not now’.
I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
Apparently, I never listen, or something like that.
And finally, the one that went up on my white board and served as a mantra; Here’s to another week of outward smiles and inwards screams.
I love the interesting versions of these desk calendars, with quotes, cartoons or trivia questions. They are out on the shelves as Christmas gifts in December and heavily discounted by January. If you don’t have one when the next year starts, I urge you to buy one.
Give yourself a daily distraction with that first mug of tea and before you start the daily regimen of outward smiles and inner screams.