Stevie Nicks is seventy-four. When I read this, I shouted out to my husband in the sort of voice you would use if a tree fell on the house. I know why I was shocked. It’s because Stevie is supposed to be forever young. Except that she isn’t, and neither am I. I continue to fall for the lie that the baby boomers are the first ageless generation. I’m still wearing jeans and buying concert tickets, and only noticing the truth when I try to emerge from a car seat with ease. Here’s the thing about longevity. You can run, but you cannot hide. As Eric Idle said, Life has a very simple plot. First, you’re here. Then you’re not.
When I started work, we seemed to gather around regularly to mark someone’s retirement. Bad jokes were made about gardening, grandchildren, and bowling clubs. I had no appreciation, back then, for the landslide occurring under the retiree’s feet. I assumed they were happy to have reached this moment, though their body language told me otherwise. Later I had a better understanding of the worries many had about how they would fill their days, feel relevant in the world, finance their life, or define themselves – if not through work. But I get it now. This is not easy. This is a big change in life; an admission that many things are behind us. It is time to settle the bill on our ambitions and say, that’s the best I could do.
So, here’s a question a lot of contemporaries are grappling with, lucky as we are to have reached the age to choose; do we die with our boots on, or enjoy the gap between stopping work and the final curtain call? Bookshops are full of titles about how to work, but they are rather thin on advice about when to call it quits. I came across this helpful prompt about when to retire. It’s when you have enough, and you’ve had enough. There must be quite a few of us who tick both those boxes, because according to all the available stats, we are about to retire in very large numbers.
But if only we knew our Use by Date. How many independent and healthy years, (our Health Adjusted Life Expectancy) will we enjoy without paid work? Experts will advise, we are more likely to run out of health before we run out of wealth. Even so, while our life expectancy (and health adjusted life expectancy) continues to improve, we may have to rethink retirement. Some of us are in no shape, financially, to retire comfortably. In 2022, the number of workers over sixty-five increased by 3 per cent according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. No other workforce age group expanded at this rate. Was this out of boredom, the love of work, or necessity?
American writer and Pulitzer Prize winner, Philip Roth, put down his pen in 2009, nine years before he died. According to his biographer, Blake Bailey, “he had seen others, including his hero, Saul Bellow, go on a book or two too long. Roth quoted boxer, Joe Louis, who said: I did the best I could with what I had. Roth learned to take it easy. He listened to music, reread old favourites, visited museums, took afternoon naps, and watched baseball in the evening. He was less competitive now.”
I read a lot about this subject of late. Retirement (and life generally) is obviously easier without major calamities, though such things are not always within our control. It clearly helps to have enough money to avoid worrying about bills. Having interests and reasons to get out of bed seems crucial. Having a supportive partner who has separate and fun things to do, is also useful. Taking care of ourselves is vital. Social networks matter, but they need not be extensive.
And regarding those social networks, the toes in the photograph belong to my oldest friend, who has retired from full time, paid work. She believes we need a new term for this phase of life. The third act appeals. In this photo she is sitting on the deck of a boat in Western Australia’s Kimberley region, but right at this moment, she’s hiking in the Canadian Rockies. We were teenagers when we first listened to Stevie Nicks, singing Time makes you bolder, children get older and I’m getting older too. You’re so right, Stevie. We’re getting older, and bolder, too.
Cheryl
Great resonance with all your blogs and especially this one.
My once thriving business died in March last year and, given the context in which I work(ed), it’s going to be a long time before there’s any sort of revival.
I always said that I would continue working while I was having fun and getting paid. This went on for some years more than others around me. And now I don’t have the energy to reinvent myself or pivot – as I’ve done three times during my career. Yes, I have enough and I’ve had enough.
So now I’m learning to fill my days playing bridge, reading, cooking and catching up with friends and family. Taking my 93 year old father for a hair cut consumes the whole day – because I can.
More importantly I’m learning to exist without deadlines and timelines, targets and strategies, meetings and networking. Phew!
I still panic about having enough and filling my days. But it is getting easier.
Thanks Cheryl. You’re a star.
Love your comment, Jandy! Please let me know how you’re going. I know you’re never going to waste a day so I will enjoy hearing about how you thrive in the Third Act.